Friday, June 18, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
It's the little things that matter the most...
Every morning at approximately 6:15am, I wake up to this pinging sensation in my stomach. I hate to assume that he is already on a schedule, but I'm guessing this is a sign that I will never sleep late again...at least not for 13 years or so. As much as I used to love sleeping until Noon, if I didn't arise to that odd feeling in my belly, I'd be sad. It's Saturday morning and while my husband is asleep and my little brother in-law is clonked out on the couch, I'm sitting in the nursery, excited about what the future will bring.
It's been awhile since I have a had a chance to blog. I assume my postings may grow less frequent in the coming months. I wish I could say there was a lack of information or topics to discuss, but there's not...things have happened that would make most of my friends fall over laughing. There just isn't enough time in the day...even if there was, I doubt I'd be able to stay awake for it.
Since I last wrote, my abdomen has swelled into a massive beach ball. I'm still not 'waddling', but walking up a few flights of stairs is enough to send me into cardiac arrest. I continue to try and walk daily; lately, it's been tough with all the rain we have been getting. The alternative to these days are muggy, 90 degree days. I think I'm okay with a washout.
A few weeks ago, I was introduced to a new pregnancy luxury called hemorrhoids. What I was convinced was a minor rash, turned out to be something I swore would never happen to me. I remember being a kid and hearing my father grunt in pain in the bathroom. It often sounded like a cow was being massacred and I feared for his life. When inquiring with my mother, she would shrug with a slight snicker..."he's got hemorrhoids." I called the doctor's office in a panic. I was so ashamed, I whispered my problem to the nurse. It took four times repeating myself for her to hear me. Similar to my mother, she also laughed. "You're fine; it's perfectly normal and very common for pregnant women. Buy some over the counter cream...THEY'LL BE THERE FOR YOUR ENTIRE PREGNANCY!!!!"
Unbelievable, right? But I felt this need to discuss my ass with everyone. Mike came home and I announced my problem to him. I sat him down, held his hand, and confessed. It was quite liberating. After I made my announcement, Mike took a sigh of relief, thankful that I didn't have cancer or need an amputation. I thought about calling Preparation H and asking to become their new spokesperson, the face of Hemorrhoids, but I was just too busy with the nursery. In conclusion, don't be ashamed and live in secret when discovering these uncomfortable little bastards...you're NORMAL!
I have also been enlightened to many other embarrassing occurrences associated with pregnancy. Flatulence being a common visitor. We're all guilty of letting a silent one rip in the office or at the store. If anyone inquiries, we snub our noses up in disgust...who could have done such a crude thing? The concept of silent gas disappears with pregnancy. I fart and quite often for that matter. I will casually slip away from my cubicle and stroll into the back room attached to my small office. Confident that no noise will follow. Ready, set, Blahbbarrrrrrtttttttttttt! Yes, that's the noise; I felt I needed to elaborate. Instantly, my Irish skin turns beet red. I hear my co-workers laughing in delight. A bottle of Lysol is thrown at me for effect.
What about grooming? I've got this thing about visiting the OBGYN. Although lately, I could care less about what my darling husband thinks, any trip to the doctor requires preparation...until this past week. I made a last minute appointment due to a UTI...another fun thing about pregnancy. I came home early from work, hopped into the tub 20 minutes prior to leaving, assuming this was more than enough time to maintain. I grabbed the razor, looked down, and saw belly. ONLY BELLY! Where were my feet? If those were gone, you can correctly assume that nothing else was visible. I stood in the tub, shifting myself in bizarre yoga positions. I understand its importance as a pregnancy exercise more so than ever. I don't know what the outcome was...I couldn't find a hand mirror anywhere. However, it wouldn't surprise me if my doctor walked out of the office and collapsed on the floor laughing. I imagine myself looking like a poorly groomed, half-naked, chihuahua.
Aside from all of the above, when I am not in a comatose state, I am painting stars, and scouring thrift shops for rock n roll inspired decor for the nursery. I'll find great amusement in life if our son listens to hip-hop and never takes any interest in a musical instrument other than the recorder. The irony of life. Regardless, the room looks really cool and he probably won't remember it anyhow.
It's not possible for me to go over everything that has happened in the past weeks. I'm sure the story of Mike and I registering will be included in the near future...that was entertaining.
It's been awhile since I have a had a chance to blog. I assume my postings may grow less frequent in the coming months. I wish I could say there was a lack of information or topics to discuss, but there's not...things have happened that would make most of my friends fall over laughing. There just isn't enough time in the day...even if there was, I doubt I'd be able to stay awake for it.
Since I last wrote, my abdomen has swelled into a massive beach ball. I'm still not 'waddling', but walking up a few flights of stairs is enough to send me into cardiac arrest. I continue to try and walk daily; lately, it's been tough with all the rain we have been getting. The alternative to these days are muggy, 90 degree days. I think I'm okay with a washout.
A few weeks ago, I was introduced to a new pregnancy luxury called hemorrhoids. What I was convinced was a minor rash, turned out to be something I swore would never happen to me. I remember being a kid and hearing my father grunt in pain in the bathroom. It often sounded like a cow was being massacred and I feared for his life. When inquiring with my mother, she would shrug with a slight snicker..."he's got hemorrhoids." I called the doctor's office in a panic. I was so ashamed, I whispered my problem to the nurse. It took four times repeating myself for her to hear me. Similar to my mother, she also laughed. "You're fine; it's perfectly normal and very common for pregnant women. Buy some over the counter cream...THEY'LL BE THERE FOR YOUR ENTIRE PREGNANCY!!!!"
Unbelievable, right? But I felt this need to discuss my ass with everyone. Mike came home and I announced my problem to him. I sat him down, held his hand, and confessed. It was quite liberating. After I made my announcement, Mike took a sigh of relief, thankful that I didn't have cancer or need an amputation. I thought about calling Preparation H and asking to become their new spokesperson, the face of Hemorrhoids, but I was just too busy with the nursery. In conclusion, don't be ashamed and live in secret when discovering these uncomfortable little bastards...you're NORMAL!
I have also been enlightened to many other embarrassing occurrences associated with pregnancy. Flatulence being a common visitor. We're all guilty of letting a silent one rip in the office or at the store. If anyone inquiries, we snub our noses up in disgust...who could have done such a crude thing? The concept of silent gas disappears with pregnancy. I fart and quite often for that matter. I will casually slip away from my cubicle and stroll into the back room attached to my small office. Confident that no noise will follow. Ready, set, Blahbbarrrrrrtttttttttttt! Yes, that's the noise; I felt I needed to elaborate. Instantly, my Irish skin turns beet red. I hear my co-workers laughing in delight. A bottle of Lysol is thrown at me for effect.
What about grooming? I've got this thing about visiting the OBGYN. Although lately, I could care less about what my darling husband thinks, any trip to the doctor requires preparation...until this past week. I made a last minute appointment due to a UTI...another fun thing about pregnancy. I came home early from work, hopped into the tub 20 minutes prior to leaving, assuming this was more than enough time to maintain. I grabbed the razor, looked down, and saw belly. ONLY BELLY! Where were my feet? If those were gone, you can correctly assume that nothing else was visible. I stood in the tub, shifting myself in bizarre yoga positions. I understand its importance as a pregnancy exercise more so than ever. I don't know what the outcome was...I couldn't find a hand mirror anywhere. However, it wouldn't surprise me if my doctor walked out of the office and collapsed on the floor laughing. I imagine myself looking like a poorly groomed, half-naked, chihuahua.
Aside from all of the above, when I am not in a comatose state, I am painting stars, and scouring thrift shops for rock n roll inspired decor for the nursery. I'll find great amusement in life if our son listens to hip-hop and never takes any interest in a musical instrument other than the recorder. The irony of life. Regardless, the room looks really cool and he probably won't remember it anyhow.
It's not possible for me to go over everything that has happened in the past weeks. I'm sure the story of Mike and I registering will be included in the near future...that was entertaining.
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