After the endless hours of psychotically cleaning, crying then coping with the concept of the "c-section pooch", reading anything I could get my hands on, packing my bag, and making my home 'surgery friendly', Ben is not here. Although I was frustrated at the time, and looked at the doctor like she had two heads, I know this is for the best.
I was told I was absolutely going to need a c-section- not by one, but at least three different doctors. I was informed that after 34 weeks, if the placenta hadn’t moved away from the cervix, it wasn’t going anywhere...WRONG! Right before my amnio to confirm that his lungs were developed enough for delivery, we decided to do one last ultrasound...primarily to make me feel better. A doctor and a tech confirmed that my placenta is still low lying, but has shifted off to the side leaving JUST enough room for this baby to squeeze on by, or so I hope.
In the words of the glorious doctor whom I had met for the first time- "It can't hurt to try a vaginal delivery." Who the hell is she kidding? Now I know after watching thousands of birthing videos on you tube, after spending two nights in the hospital listening to the screams of women in labor, and after the gazillion stories I have heard from total strangers waiting in line at Walgreens that it hurts...A LOT! Episiotomies, tears, blood, stretching...yeah, I think I'll be a little pissed if they tell me I still need a c-section after an attempt at a traditional labor.
My doctor is on vacation this week, and when I asked the dink who is covering for him exactly how far my placenta had moved, she said "They won't attempt unless it is greater than 2 cm away". Ok, so I ask how far mine is "greater than 2cm away." Ok, are we talking 2.1 cm, 4 cm..."It doesn't specify". My Lord, do they know how to calm down an irrational pregnant woman.
To further enhance my frustration, the statistics were so, so in my favor. I knew that I would be having this baby on August 31. I was still in the comfort zone of weight, right around 30lbs. So what did I decide to do? Well, after months of watching what I ate, bypassing cravings, walking a few miles a day (until I was bed-rested)? I hit up every Mickey D's on the east coast for that snack size, heavenly, scrumptious, Reese's McFlurry. Let me tell you...my second chin will confirm this.
So now I sit here bouncing on a medicine ball, a bottle of hot sauce in my lap, praying to Jesus that Benjamin will grace this world prior to my due date. Although I know nothing about a traditional labor, I am confident that I can and will successfully push this child out of me. Even though the internal ultrasound penis like probe, condom and all hurt like a bitch the other day, I know I can push out a watermelon, lol. AHHHHHHHH! Life is not very predictable.
