There's no road map to life.

Some things you simply cannot plan. This is a difficult concept for me; I am absolute control freak. When I have a vision, it is exclusively mine. No one else could possibly see it the way I do. So I take on far more work than necessary.

Yesterday, I went in for my monthly exam and another ultrasound. Eight weeks prior, an ultrasound revealed that my placenta was low-lying (placenta previa). At the time the doctor said it was no big deal. In 90% of occurrences prior to 20 weeks, the placenta moves up on its own. (http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/placenta-previa-topic-overview). Unfortunately, I am 31 weeks and it hasn't budged.

It was funny, because I was so infatuated with this ultrasound. The baby looked so different then in the past. He is so big and REAL now. He was blinking and drinking...I think he enjoyed my breakfast burrito. He had has hand covering his face; this was driving the tech insane, since she was unable to get a clear profile picture of him. She kept shaking my stomach. Ben was clearly annoyed, kicked and refused to move...typical.

Not only did I receive the traditional 'belly' ultrasound, but I also had to get another internal ultrasound...you know, the penis like device wearing a condom. Apparently, where and how this placenta settled was of interest, and the tech remarked that my insides resemble something that would be presented at a medical conference...leave it to me to have wacky insides.

After the doctor reviewed the images, he came in for my actual exam. To give you an idea of my doctor, he is a typical, no bullshit kind of man. On a normal visit, he walks in, pokes my stomach, asks if I have any questions, and walks out. I appreciate this guy because on a delivery table he wouldn't want to hold my hand. I pictured him more like a drill Sergeant; telling me to shut up, suck up the pain, and freakin push. That's what I need. Yesterday, at my exam, he sat down. Ugh.

To summarize, the placenta probably will not move and will remain blocking the cervix. Is there a chance in the next four weeks it will? Yes. Likely? No. Benjamin's due date is September 22. What will probably happen- I may be going in for a cesarean section on September 2. There are several reasons why we would deliver him a month early; most of them are related to my safety and not the baby's. At 37 weeks, his lungs should be developed enough to not need the assistance of a respirator. Prior to the delivery, I would receive an amniocentesis, a prenatal test, where the doctor will place a needle through my stomach and into the amniotic sack to take a fluid sample. This test will determine if the baby's lungs are developed enough.

Worst-case scenario, the needle could break my water and Ben will need to be delivered even if his lungs are weak. This would result in a longer visit to the NICU. If we wait until I am full term, there is a risk that I may bleed, and could ultimately die if I do not reach a medical facility in time. I was advised to get to a hospital with any sign of blood, regardless of the quantity.

What's good is that I have felt great. The doctor said my pregnancy has moved along perfectly. I'm on target with everything, weight, blood pressure, sugar levels, etc. He said something like this is very unusual, not only for my age, but also being my first pregnancy. No one ever said I was normal. Another positive is that things can still change with the next ultrasound. He wants me to go to the hospital for the next one...maybe more people will review it? I didn't ask. Also, I think they are supposed to be extra careful if I need another internal. I was even banned from sex...not that sex has actually been on my priority list.

For now, I'm just thinking positively. I've already drafted a list of c-section pros and cons. All I know is that this baby is alive and active. He kicks and punches me enough to remind me...I'm actually pretty grateful for that. I've accepted you can't plan for everything. Sometimes you simply have to give it God.