The thrill of the hunt...

There is nothing in life that I appreciate more than a good deal. I could have $1 million in my pocket and still barter at yard sales. With our darling little boy on the way, I have an excuse to shop, but a very small budget to work with.

A friend called me this morning and told me about a town-wide yard sale. I couldn't have been more thrilled...Mike on the other hand looked nauseous. Fortunately for him, my mother called and decided to take his place. I was nervous.

If you know anything about the relationship my mother and I share, you know it's chaotic, manic, and psychotic; yet somewhere, there's still room for a bizarre form of love. She couldn't be happier about her future grandchild, nor could she be more excited to share her ideas, thoughts, and opinions.

Although my mother typically has good intentions, she is like a whirl wind of energy that can suck the life out of you. She pulls up to my house like a mad woman, blaring music in her mustang convertible. Instantly, she storms into the house blabbling about baby clothes, grabbing ultrasound photos, scanning the house, and analyzing the future nursery. "What color are you going to paint it, you should have let me pick out the crib, blah ba blah ba blah...something else, blah." Instantly I tense up and become defensive. I'm not painting the nursery, it's a neutral color already. I would rather put money aside for college. Why don't you look at the big picture. I don't want my child paying $600 a month for college loans like me. Why do you always have to state your opinion?

To top it all off, my young mother is also partially deaf. As we depart...a SECOND time, because I lost my debit card and couldn't make it to the ATM, I ask "Are you sure you want to go to this?", her response..."No". I yell back "Fine, I'm turning around!" What she heard- "Do you know how to get there from here?" Eventually all was resolved and we were on our way.

Armed with a map of the town and a listing of sales, all tension immediately faded as we approached the first home. We scanned through boxes of items in search of nothing in particular. We reestablished a bond as we made absurd offers on expensive items, and walked away victorious on many occasions. We guessed where the wealthy developments were located and scored a car full of baby items, way too many lamps, and other random items.

More importantly, we got along really well for the first time in years. Beyond bringing my husband and I even closer together, this little boy is bringing my mother and I together. We joked about baby names, and the attractive men, in the giant homes, with the large-butted wives. My mother teased old men trying to sell her total garbage and snuck free kid toys into the back seat of my car while I wasn't looking.

We arrived back at my home tired, but impressed with ourselves.

The score- $43.00 purchased:

• A practically new bassinet, remote operated, that rocks, plays music, lights up and has a rotating mobile
• 2 nursery monitors (one not even opened)
• Complete bedding set (bumpers, comforter, sheets, the works) in mint condition
• New changing pad
• Vibrating baby chair
• Baby tub- with infant holder and shower attachment piece
• 3D activity play-mat that plays music and lights up. (New)
• Baby bjorn infant holder (Mike's going to look very sexy rocking this item)
• Giant Teddy Bear
• 2 pairs of new baby shoes
• Some fleece device that is suppose to attach to the car seat during the winter to keep him warm
• and a bunch of practically new toys that won't be used for a year or so
  

There is nothing better than sweet success.

Surprise!

For the past four months, I have been convinced I was having a little girl. I have wandered the mall looking at little dresses and floral decor. I even named her...Norah Elizabeth. It's was settled in my mind, I didn't even consider the possibility that a male is living inside me. Now I know you can see where I am going with this...it's a BOY!

The ultrasound technician mentioned it casually, like it wasn't a tremendous deal..just another baby. My darling husband instantly perked up, unsure if he heard what he thought he had. I questioned sarcastically "Are you sure?". She turned the monitor and pointed with the mouse to what appeared a rather visible penis. There was no questioning the sex of this child.

I sat flustered thinking, my God, what are we going to name this kid, how am possibly going to decorate a nursery without it looking tacky...covered in sports memorabilia. What if the second is a boy...can I mentally handle that? It was like I found out for the first time I was pregnant. I felt under-prepared. I know NOTHING about babies. In total honesty, I've never even held a baby...diapers..I don't even know where to begin. But a girl, well, I'm a girl. We'd experience similar aspects of life, it seemed I could semi-relate.

Mike was thrilled. There's something entertaining about watching a man when they learn a boy is on the way. His nose rose in the air, chest puffed out...it was like watching a rooster on the prowl. He has now accomplished his primary goal...his name will be passed on...the legacy that is Mike will continue on yet another generation. Success, pride, super sperm.

Later in the evening, I walked around Babies "R" Us. It was overwhelming...a superstore of baby stuff. How many of these products will I ever use? I need to brainstorm with someone who brought up a child in the 1950's to figure out what's a necessity and what will simply end up in the closet. I'm having flashbacks of my wedding gifts...the steamer, juicer, espresso maker all hidden behind linens near the bathroom. (Sorry if anyone who is reading this purchased the listed items...I am truly grateful).

Furthermore, there is far more merchandise directed towards little girls than boys. A sea of pink vomit covering the store. Boys get cars, giraffes, sports, and barn animals...how lame. Nothing is without theme. You'd think a basic pattern would be available...something that wouldn't dictate how I decorate the rest of the room. But no, my search will go on. The ides of registering makes me slightly queezy; more so than any morning sickness I've experienced.

Mild freak out...

Yesterday, after a long day of work, I strolled into the house and conducted my daily 'belly examination'. It may be shear paranoia or some bizarre infatuation with my quickly evolving body, but I feel a strong need to monitor changes. I lifted up my shirt...looked in the mirror... and screamed.

Now, I have always had a cute-little belly button; a very small innie that I have taken great pride in. Somehow, over the course of one day, that cute little belly button has morphed into a HOLE in the middle of my stomach! I could fit three quarters in there!

You're probably thinking to yourself...silly girl, didn't you know that messed up things are going to happen to your belly button? NO! I'm the first person in my immediate circle to carry child, I have one sibling close in age, and I had no interest in discussing pregnancy with my mother.

In an effort to enlighten myself, I purchased a bunch of books the first week I discovered we were having a baby; I even bought Mike a book. We sat there reading, filling our brain with images of babies and nurseries. Similar to the time when I tried to 'enlighten' myself with classic books, because I was simply unappreciative in high school, I became DESPERATELY bored by page 30. I kicked 'What to Expect' under the bed and moved on to Nicholas Sparks...I'd much rather read of romance in North Carolina than hemorrhoids.

What do you do when you're knocked up and in a freak out moment? You call Mom. Never have I called my mother for advice on anything; at least not in the past ten years. But who else do you call. Is there a pregnancy hotline for frantic, confused women who are too lazy to read the facts? I splurt out to my mother, "Oh my God, I'm mutant, there's a hole in my stomach...something about quarters, blah blah blah...blah blah." She breaks into hysterical laughter...nearly chokes on her own saliva, because clearly this moment of vulnerability is highly entertaining. This is the advice I receive - "Well, when the weather get warmer, just lie out in the sun, pour some water in it and it'll become a bird bath" hahahahahaha....choke, choke! Needless to say, I wasn't amused. She called and left three additional messages, all of which Mike listened to and found immense pleasure in.

Fortunately, my dear friend Andi, called me and provided me with some facts. It's going to pop out...yes, we're talking about my belly button. The idea makes me queezy.

For kicks, I may just say screw the prego books and just see what happens. At least it makes my blog more fascinating. Before I hung up on my mother, her final words were "wait till you discover the MASK of pregnancy!!"

To be continued....

Hey now second trimester! (16.5 weeks)

Things are starting to register in my brain and I think I have come to the understanding that we are REALLY having a baby. Out of nowhere this slight bump has appeared...it literally happened overnight. I'm finally starting to get some energy back and leaving the lethargic state I've been in the past three months. I still foresee 10pm bedtimes, most likely for the rest of my life.

I swear I felt the baby moving around the other day. I was lying down in the shower, a 45 minute ritual of mine and felt this weird fluttery feeling in my lower left abdomen. It's very strange to think there is something living in my stomach. It will really trip me out when I see a foot dragging across it.

Each week I anxiously wait for Wednesday, symbolizing that another week is officially over and learning that our baby resembles another piece of fruit in size. This week I'm carrying a 4.5inch avocado, lol. That sounds painful enough to deliver, a full size 7lb baby gives me the chills. I already have visions of dancing epidurals in my head.